I don’t know whether I am coming or going! Too many things happening around the world I just don’t know which way to turn or what to say! For starters: man screws his country and people for 42 years.  They rise up and say enough is enough. The usual opportunists who have been helping him screw the people turn up and say he must say bye to the people. He says but my people, they love me. Shrilly, he insists, ‘the people love me!’ ‘Why do they want to go away?’, he asks in his reverie. Man is cornered in sewage channel by his subjects after 8 months. ‘What did I ever do to you he asks?’

This is for Misrata, a member of the mob shouted as he slapped him. Man is shot for killing and screwing the people who loved him for 42 years. His son says he is shocked and outraged by the vicious brutality of the barbaric execution of his father. Never mind that he helped daddy in his extra judicial treatment of the people! Human rights watch says lets investigate! Friend of killed man says he died fighting like a hero! If he had surface to air missiles he would have shown NATO what he was made off! Indeed life is stranger than fiction! I will stick to teaching, cause the ways of the world are too complicated for my small mind!

And then there was ‘Bad Black’: village belle turned ‘heiress’ with a US $ 3 million heirloom and still counting. I dreamt of her last nite; more precisely I dreamt of the green bucks with envy. Coming down from the trees and dressing in a satin-laced gown to go to the dance. Forgot to leave Club Rouge before midnite, as her beautiful dress turned into rags! Ally the proprietor must be drugging her champagne. Or was it the Ashawo effect? Poor ‘Cinderella’ Black. The coachmen turned into mice and before she could flee the site of her orgy. Her Prince had been reined in first: he was the honey trap that attracted her. She is in the warm embrace of the police! Don’t pity the idiot who gave her a blank cheque. It must have been carnal knowledge, her lawyers opined.  One of my friends told me a while ago, don’t give money to blacks (no pun intended), they wouldn’t know how to use it.  In a few years she will be back in Mitiyana. Amazing things happen in this town.

As I moved from one bad dream to another, there was KB. Insisting that he was going to walk whatever the case! He tried to walk, but they picked him up. He slipped from their fingers, like he was listening to ABBA of old. Started walking again, but they picked him up again. And now he is under preventive arrest. Very colonial indeed. So the Police came and camped outside his house! They shat all over the neighbors gardens as they had no where to ease themselves. But KB couldn’t get a look outside his gate, and alas he didn’t walk. All the others who tried to walk were bundled up with Guy Fawkes. They shall be burned at the stakes. For treason, Mr, Kayihura insists! He is a lawyer they say. So I suppose he knows better than most of us. That is why whenever he wants to use the road, us common folks must move over. There are amazing folks in this town. I leave here so I must know!

Lest I forget. Parliament restarted the ‘Congo debate’. Don’t know why these fellows cant let Old Idi do his time in his sandy grave. It must be hot in Saudi Arabia! Only this time it was oil. Wasn’t in town so I don’t know all the details. And, the devil is in the detail.  The ‘debate’ continued in Kyankwanzi. Attired in military fatigues, the NRM top brass went on a retreat to sort this and other issues that bedevil the country. News coming through is that there are some ‘turning on their beds’. The story shall be continued but for my two cents, I guess the accusations are a bit far fetched. The guys involved are too clever to hide their loot in full public view. Maybe it is some internal power struggle in the yellow party, but the truth will out. This is a tricky one so for now I will hold my peace. Nevertheless, it is amusing that it was the usual suspects with their hands in the cookie jar! I guess if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it must be a duck. The jury is not out on this one but as I told you, life is stranger than fiction.

by Samuel Sejjaaka
58 Comments